This does not mean that you cannot succeed, but your soul may be telling
you that the direction you are going is not taking you where you want
to be. And by admitting that an aspect of your life is not working, you
are freed to begin moving in a new direction that will work.
Before deciding to start over, you may want to explore any personal
fears that are motivating the need to begin again. Resentment is a fear-based
emotion obviously based upon you wanting someone else to be the way you
want them to be. Is that justified? And know that if you are holding
on to a past hurt, the other person is keeping you a prisoner in the
here and now.
Assuming you can release any fear-based emotions (especially blame)
relating to your wanting to start over, the best place to begin self-processing
is to explore what is true for you. Being true to yourself is more important
than your fear of consequences? When you are not true to yourself you
are living in fear.
You also do not want to live in fear of what others might think about
you starting over.
Once you have decided to start over, it will be time to stop explaining
yourself to other people. It is your right to offer no excuses or justifications
for your decisions or behavior. You may want to explain why you have
acted in a particular way to those with whom you share a close relationship,
but you do not owe anyone an explanation. Excuses and explanations weaken
your position.
We all find ourselves in positions in which others imply
that we owe them an explanation. Most of us are so well trained that
we react automatically
and comply with their wishes without thinking. All too often we explain
ourselves even when no one has asked “why.”
It is often hardest not to offer an explanation to a good friend, but
why should a friend force you to explain your actions? If your friend
is incapable of accepting your rights then maybe she is incapable of
relating to you on any basis but manipulation.
To start over also means leaving behind your old ideas about yourself.