Radical Viewpoint: Neither partner should have to play the role of entertainment and intimacy coordinator. If one spouse feels they’re not having enough fun or romance, they’re the one who needs to initiate jointly enjoyed activities.

General Viewpoint: Fun and romance don’t just happen on their own. Both partners have to work at it. Each spouse knows what their partner enjoys and vice versa. The idea is to take a step in and initiate. Communicate. Both partners are also responsible for romantic time. First, make the time for romance. Second, be creative. If one spouse is not willing to make the effort, there are plenty of potential people waiting in the wings who might like the opportunity to show their mate some fun and offer romance.

Common Causes: Although fun and romance are two different things, when they fade out of a relationship it is probably because of one or more of the other 24 complaints listed in this book. As examples, if there has been adultery, or there is a third-party distraction, or you experience sexual incompatibility, you are probably experiencing no fun or romance ... and these are just the first three complaints in this book. If one of you is emotionally drained, or you have become hypersensitive to each other, there is little room left in your lives for romance But fun and romance are critical to a good relationship, so bring them back into your life by dealing with the key causes, and also check out the repairs we suggest below.