Radical Viewpoint: You and you alone are free to pick your social friends. But if your spouse doesn’t like them, he or she should not have to be subjected to them. See incompatible friends on your own. Ideally, you pick responsible friends who do not drive a wedge between you and your partner. If your mate will not allow you to have your own friends, you have possessiveness issues that need to be dealt with.

General Viewpoint: Personalities change in the presence of different people. If your partner says he/she does not like your friends, the problem may be the way you act when you’re around them. While you might think your partner is being unreasonable, it may be that you become unlikable in the presence of these people. Or if it is you that does not like your partner’s friends, reverse this situation. Just because we choose to enter a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that everyone will automatically get along. All too often a spouse will choose to either fight about this problem and/or ignore their partner’s friends. Neither strategy is productive.

Common Causes: 1) A long-standing relationship that originated in childhood may bring out the “immature child” in your partner, 2) Different interests?some people like to drink and party, while others are home-body types, 3) Senses of humor can vary. Maybe your partner and his/her friends have adopted a way of looking at the world that you just don’t understand, 4) Feeling excluded from your partner’s “group” can cause problems. You may feel like an “outsider,” 5) Your partner may become selfish when he/she is around friends. They may ignore you in favor of socializing, 6) One of you feels jealous or possessive of the other getting attention.