Radical Viewpoint: If you’re a workaholic, you are probably putting your career before your marriage. If you’re trying to manipulate your mate into be the person you want them to be, you are not committed to a union of equals. If your spend many hours a day communicating with others on the internet, but do not spend one-to-one time with your spouse, you are not committed to your relationship. Any activity or absence used to avoid conversation and intimacy with your mate is an expression of non-commitment. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship.

General Viewpoint: Lack of commitment often means that one or both partners is unwilling to take the relationship to the next step. They may be so overwhelmed by life they cannot focus on the union. Many factors can test the level of relationship commitment: child rearing, financial pressure, loss of a job, or physical illness can challenge how committed one is to the union. But it is commitment that holds two people together through difficult times.

Common Causes: Many people experience fear of commitment. The idea of forever makes them nervous. They equate commitment with loss of freedom/autonomy. Long-standing, unresolved issues between spouses is a primary reason one of both partners are not fully committed to each other. If your hearts are estranged and separated from one another, the union is weakened. Another common cause is being unwilling to forgive. One person is unwilling to forgive the other for something that happened or did not happen in the past.