Radical Viewpoint: To unconditionally love another person, is to give them the freedom to be who they are without expectations, judgment, blaming or attempting to control their actions or reactions. You expect no more than your lover can give. And you love them without expecting to them to change. In a union of unconditional love, your love is not dependent upon being loved in return.

General Viewpoint: If your partner is remaining in contact with someone with whom they once had a sexual or emotional affair, they are breaking the trust between the two of you. Trust is the foundation of a solid relationship. With a third party contaminating the environment, they will be unable to fully commit to your union. Commitment is the essence of love.

Deceptive behavior of this kind means your partner is going to be emotionally unavailable to you. They are distracted, feeding energy to another person, which over time may strengthen the outside union. Conflicting intentions will eventually generate a splintered personality, resulting in stress and emotional pain for the person who is not being honest about what they are doing. Even if they are not fully aware of their intentions, their predominant desire will eventually win out.

Common Causes: The same causes described in Complaint 1: Adultery / Cheating, apply here. Meeting other people via e-mail, internet chat rooms and dating sites, often opens the door to third-party relationships. The person in contact with someone else is expressing a need that is not being fulfilled in the relationship. It is time to communicate directly and honestly about unfulfilled expectations and unmet needs.