Radical Viewpoint: If your lifestyle differences force you to compromise to the degree you cannot become who you are meant to be, you are making a big mistake in allowing this to continue. You must learn to say “yes” when you want to say yes and “no” when you want to say no. Being assertive is a matter of standing up for your human rights. Aggression is a matter of stepping upon someone else’s human rights.

General Viewpoint: One of you likes to watch sports on TV in the living room every weekend. The other hates sports. One of you likes to attend the theater and cultural events. The other wants to go camping and the stock car races. One of you likes to eat junk food, the other gourmet. Classical music opposed to rock and roll. Romantic movies opposed to action flicks. One is social, the other a social hermit. How did the two of you ever get together? But we do get together with partners who will test our patience and force us to growth through finding ways to co-exist and resolve problems in a win-win manner.

Common Causes: In the initial phases of a new relationship, we are like actors in a play, trying to please the audience. But you cannot repress who you are for long. To try is like standing upon a rubber raft in shallow water. As long as you stand on it, you can keep it submerged. But in time, you will have to move on, and the raft will emerge?your repressed emotions will emerge and you be will become who you really are, doing what you really want to do.