Radical Viewpoint: Any attempt to manipulate another human being is abusive and should not be tolerated. Physical abuse is an immediate reason to end a relationship.

General Viewpoint: Abusive behavior includes all forms of verbal degradation, including expressions of contempt and disgust and uncontrolled anger. Jealousy, possessiveness, denial of powers, isolation, and threats can be abusive. Even stonewalling can be considered abusive. Couples in conflict tend to become ultra-sensitive to each other, which over time generates psychological warfare. This warfare usually increases over time. The partner being abused must not allow minor abuse to become major abuse. To do so will only legitimize the abuser’s belief that he/she has a right to abuse. Psychopathic abusers have little or no conscience and are capable of displaying only shallow emotional responses.

Common Causes: The abuser may have a fear of abandonment and will resist anything in the partner’s life that separates them, such as a job, family, friends, school, etc. People with Borderline Personality Disorders exhibit patterns of instability, impassivity and behavioral swings between love and hate. Mood swings can also be triggered by poor diet, and allergies. Other considerations include alcohol and drug abuse, depression, anxiety attacks, sleep disturbances and disassociation. Perfectionistic and domineering personalities tend to need to control. A rigid adherence to sexual roles can cause the male to attempt to dominate and control his world. Health problems and/or chronic illness can generate abusive behavior. Child abuse or shaming parents can set the stage for becoming an adult abuser. If a child witnessed or experienced battering, the experience can manifest as adult abusive behavior.