Radical Viewpoint: In response to someone who is immature, selfish and/or lacks ambition, you want to yell, “GROW UP!” These are traits of spoiled, inconsiderate and infantile adults. Get over it, or get out.

General Viewpoint: Differing levels of maturity, selflessness and ambition can generate relationship problems. One spouse may be career and goal-oriented, while the other is happy to work as little as possible. One may lay around all day and have no problem letting their partner do all the house work and/or take care of the children. One may be organized and like to plan their daily activities, while the other prefers to be “spontaneous” and unplanned. The resulting conflicts will require adult resolution skills

Common Causes: To be selfish, immature, or lack ambition might be explained as in-born personality traits. However, more often than not, how a person was raised has a lot to do with how they turned out. We are all programmed by early experiences, and if in growing up, your spouse was treated like a princess or a little Lord, they may reflect and expect the same considerations as an adult. Also keep in mind, people have a choice of being rationally or irrationally selfish. Irrational selfishness is what causes us to cringe at the word. But rational selfishness means one responds to the needs of others to obtain your objectives. You need to give to receive in human relationships.