Empathy is not the same thing as sympathy. Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone. For example, if a family member dies, you send them a sympathy card saying “I’m sorry.” But that is not empathy. You can feel bad for someone without being able to identify with their experience. So that’s the difference between sympathy and empathy. Empathy is the ability to “put yourself in the other person’s shoes.” Most people are not very empathic, especially in romantic relationships. This is one of the major problems you need to over come.

According to research, the majority of us think that women are more empathic than men. This is not true. But that does not mean that men are more empathic than women. The most empathic people are androgynous – meaning, they have equal sets of both masculine and feminine behaviors, regardless of their sex. These people can identify with more types of behaviors than the people who lie at the very feminine or very masculine end. They have a better understanding of both, so they are able to relate to other people more effectively.

Even if you’re not a very androgynous person, you can learn to be more empathic. All you need to do is become aware of when you are only looking at things from your perspective. Remember how important it is to you that your partner see the situation from your point of view. Then give them the same courtesy by doing the same for them.

We can’t emphasize enough how important empathy is to a good relationship. If you can’t identify with the other person (or at least pretend to), then they won’t feel “heard.” They will feel defensive and then the relationship will be damaged as a result.

You have to live by the motto “perception is reality.” Your partner’s perception is their reality just as your perception is yours.

Empathy is key to having a happy and successful relationship.