When we are in conflict with our mate, we usually think they are wrong and we are right. In fact, most people will fight to prove their view is superior to their mate’s. This behavior is probably one of the top three worst things you can do in a relationship.

In order to have a peaceful partnership, you must remember one vital thing: perception is reality. In order to explain what we mean by this, let’s look at an analogy to illustrate that objective reality does not exist. There is a tree in your yard. While no one may argue that there is a tree there (objective reality), in describing the tree to others, everyone will come up with their own personal interpretation of it (subjective reality). So in discussing the tree, one person may talk about how beautiful the leaves are and how tall the tree is. And yet another person will talk about the type of tree and how old it is. They are both talking about the same tree, yet they are focusing on different aspects of the same reality. Neither of them is wrong. They are both right. Correct?

So if we apply this analogy to relationships, why do we make our mate ‘wrong’? They are just seeing the tree (relationship) from a different perspective. Correct? If you agree with this statement, then you should not “fight” to prove your point. Instead, simply acknowledge that it is your partner’s right to interpret reality his/her own way. And the same goes for you.

You do not have to agree with your partner. But you do have to acknowledge and affirm that their feelings are valid. You must accept it is their truth. You don’t want your truth to be denied to you, right? So why would you take that away from your partner?