In today’s society, it is not politically correct to say you don’t want to be in an equal partnership. The days of the man being dominant and the woman being submissive are long gone. Or are they?

In our opinion, those days are not gone. People like to think they are. They even act that way in public just to keep up the illusion. However, when we interview married individuals, we have found that women in particular do not think there is equality in their relationship.

An attitude of equality comes from recognizing your own self worth while giving the same amount of worth to others. You must consciously acknowledge and appreciate that all people are valuable – including yourself. When we take on the attitude of equality, we tolerate, accept, and have compassion for others. And this does not just mean in your thoughts, but also in your actions.

The word ‘actions’ was emphasized in the above paragraph because it is key to equality. You can sit and talk about how you think your partner is equal to you, but to see whether or not it is really true, take a look at your actions. Do you share equal responsibility for everything in your joint life? Do you devalue or disrespect your partner in any way through your words or actions? If so, then you are not living equality. You think you are, but you are not.

Here is an easy way to see if you are living out equality: ask your partner. If he/she doesn’t feel there is equality, then it doesn’t matter what you think. A stamp of approval on how you treat your partner as an equal can only come from them – not you.

So take some time to think about how you express – or don’t express – equality in your relationship. Then take the steps to make it better.