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Don’t Let Charm Blind You |
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| Not everyone has a charismatic personality. So when you find someone who does, you could be pulled in by their charm – but don’t forget to look beneath the surface to see what else is there.
For example, let’s say you have had a string of disappointing dates. All these people were very nice and you had an enjoyable time, but no one stood out and you were not very attracted to any of them. Then – suddenly - the charming one comes along. You know from the moment they hug you that this is going to be a good date. You have immediate rapport. You feel as if you’ve known each other forever. You laugh and talk your way through the whole evening. You talk about what a rare connection the two of you have. You both program each other’s numbers into your cell phones. It must be destined. Right?
Well, maybe not. It was only one date. There are so many things you do not know about this person. And even the information that you do have may have been misinterpreted by you as representative of their personality.
Let us give you a real-life example. We have a friend who had almost the exact experience as above. One of the things that intrigued her about this guy is that he was once a “Dead Head” – he followed the Grateful Dead around for years. Then later he finds out he has a child with someone. So he gives up his Dead Head life and moves to be near the child so he can help raise her. Upon hearing this story, she thinks he’s heroic. However, after finding out more about him she realized she should have focused upon the fact that was a Dead Head for eight years. Unfortunately, once she got to know him, that piece of information was really much more representative of his overall personality.
The moral of the story is that charm can be blinding. Make sure you find a lot more about the person before you even consider a relationship with them.
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