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Beware of “Good Interviewers” |
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| When you go on a job interview, what do you wear? Sweatpants? No, of course not. Presumably (and depending on the type of job for which you are interviewing), you will dress up in a suit. And how do you act? Do you crack rude jokes and act like you don’t care? No, of course not. When people are interviewing for a job, they put on their best performance. They have to, because if they don’t, then they won’t get the job.
Let’s be honest: dating is the same as a job interview. Each person is dressing up and looking their best. They are also putting on their best personality so the other will be enchanted with them. In other words, many of us do not present our true self early on in the dating process.
Just like with job interviews, some people are great at becoming someone they are not in order to get the job. Others are more their true selves. However, to some degree, we are all “on stage.” The person who captivates you on the first three dates may turn into someone who - three months or three years later - is ignoring your needs in favor of his/her own.
So it’s important to realize we are all “interviewers.” Some people you “hire” will work out great, and you will be happy with their performance. With others, you will say, “What the heck was I thinking??” The problem is, you probably weren’t thinking. You were too wrapped up in their charisma to acknowledge the fact that what you see now is not what you are going to be seeing later.
Some people’s true selves will emerge very soon. Others may take years. But nevertheless, a person cannot hide who they really are forever. Eventually, they will be themselves around you 24/7. So make sure that self is the one you want to date. Not the “good interviewer.”
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