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Ending Detachment Process |
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| This is a behavior modification technique to accelerate emotional detachment. Be sure you want what you ask for. Then write at least a dozen sentences that express your fears. Let’s assume you realize your relationship with your husband has come to an end. But you fear having to experience all the pain or letting go and starting over again. Each sentence expresses a fear and is followed by another sentence that begins with STOP. This second sentence is then tape recorded with emotion. Here’s how it works:
You say out loud, “I need John to survive mentally and physically.” Then you press “play” on the tape recorder and hear, “STOP! John has already shown you how little he cares about your needs. You easily survive mentally and physically without him.”
More examples: “Maybe there’s still a chance that John and I can find a way to work things out.” “STOP! You no longer deny the relationship is over and the two of you will now go your own ways. You accept what is.”
“If John and I part, the pain will go on and on for a very long time.”
“STOP! If you and John part, you have the power and ability to sever the emotional ties with a minimum of attachment. You create a happy, successful life without him.”
“I don’t know if I have the strength to start over.” “STOP! You absolutely have the strength to start over. Starting over is far superior to tolerating a pain-filled life and repressing who you are.
INSTRUCTIONS: Write out many more statements that cover all aspects of the relationship. Record only the “STOP statements. Then verbally speak the first statement, and immediately push play to hear the STOP statement. Repeat the statements 10 times, and do the process three or four times a day.
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