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Judging Others |
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| We know judgment is wrong, and yet our experiences put us in the position of making judgments. When these are expressed verbally, we preface our statements with, “I’m not judging him, but ...” as if that will makes the judgment acceptable.
But the truth of the matter is, not all judgments are undesirable.
There are three kinds of judgments you do not want to make.
1. Judgments based upon your expectations.
2. Judgments which result in trying to change someone else.
3. Judgments generated by fear-based emotions.
These judgments echo your ideas of right and wrong and your desire to control. Rising above judgment doesn’t mean you stop deciding what does and doesn’t work for you. There are only so many hours in each day and if you’re intelligent, you’ll spend what time you have efficiently and pleasurably. If I said, “I don’t want to spend time with John, because I no longer enjoy his company,” you probably would not have a problem with the statement.
But if I said, “John is a controller who dominates every conversation,” you’d accuse me of being judgmental. But that’s why I don’t want to spend time with John. I’m not judging him to be wrong for dominating conversations and wanting to control situations. But I know it’s wrong for me to spend time with him. I don’t expect him to be anything other than what he is, and I have no desire to change him.
The metaphysical ideal is to accept other human beings as they are without judgments, expectations, blame, or attempting to control. With this understanding of judgment, the goal of unconditional acceptance is a little more realistic. Even John can qualify.
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