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| > Return to Relationship Repairs |
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Examine and Improve Your Self-Worth |
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| You need to examine your feelings of self-worth, because high self-esteem is critical to a happy relationship. If you have an unhappy union, perhaps it is because you do not feel worthy of having it otherwise. We only attract that which we feel we deserve, so if you created an imperfect relationship, it may have more to do with your inner self than it does your partner.
We are all living expressions of our belief systems, which were created by past programming. From the first day one of our lives, our brain has been programmed with thoughts and ideas about how the world works. In fact, even when you were in your mother’s body, you were hearing messages from the outside world. If your parents talked about how they didn’t want to have a baby, that message was recorded on your brain and could have translated into “I’m not wanted.” While that is an extreme example, we all have messages sent to us by parents, siblings, peers, teachers, and the media. If you received negative messages they may have affected the quality of your romantic relationships.
Your beliefs generate the thoughts and emotions that create all of your experiences. Thinking you are “not good enough” will create feelings of possessiveness, jealously, and resentment in your relationship. Projecting these will only hurt you and your mate. It will make you less than pleasant to be around, and the negative energy surrounding you will make your partner uneasy.
Building self-worth takes time and effort but it can be done, starting with awareness. You cannot change what you do not recognize. The first step is to analyze how you feel about yourself. Explore any fake feelings which are the result of past programming. They have nothing to do with who you actually are.
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