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| > Return to Relationship Repairs |
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Be Present |
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| You can’t make a relationship work unless you are psychologically present. That means that you are “there” not just physically, but also emotionally. You need to be available to your partner not just for simple companionship, but also for intellectual stimulation, affection, and love. This is a huge problem for many couples. And people who are not present are often the last to admit it.
Our culture is fast-paced. It is common for both spouses to work, even when they have children. As a result, they may not see very much of each other, and as a result, “unplug” from the relationship. When this happens there is a tendency to rationalize their disconnect with their partner. They blame their problems on outside circumstances, not on their behavior.
You simply cannot have a quality relationship if you are never together. Even if you are physically together, but not emotionally connected, you are not present. If this goes on too long, you will eventually look at your partner and see a stranger. Then you will look back and wonder how you got to that point. It is not uncommon for a couple to get divorced after the kids have left the house. They have grown apart through the years because they weren’t present. And it may have even happened without their conscious knowledge.
If you don’t want this happening to you, prioritize each other and the relationship. It takes planning and focus, but it can be done. If you don’t schedule and make special quality time to be with your partner, then you are simply saying that everything else in your life is more important. Is that the message you want to send?
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